Sunday, January 6, 2013


2012 Christmas Poems post:

Dad:
The patter of little feet
Is a neat, sweet treat
Even when they have grown old.

A reminder of Christmas meaning
Above the world with hate teaming
To be overcome by love

May Christ be our center
As a new year we enter
Bringing us happiness.



JaNae:
A new baby, who brings such joy
Two grandmas left home to care for our boy.
Three homes we’ve had since the day we wed
Four new uncles in adoring Charlie led.
I would go on, but time is gone.
I love my life with the best husband and son.



David, II:
Christmas late
Drove with Kate
To spend time in
My favorite state.

Food got ate,
Gained some weight.
Swedish meals
Are always great.

Out of rhyme,
Out of time.
Poem’s no good
But we’ll be fine. 



Mom:
The cream is all whipped
And chocolate’s all dipped. 
The presents are opened,
The paper’s all ripped.

The best part of all –
The kids are all home
Scratching their heads,
Each writing a poem.



Kate:
Family!  Family, family everywhere –
And not a drop to drink!
Puppies, kittens on Grettle’s floor.
Cheeses!  Limpa!  Sausage!  More!
Candles, fire, but no incense –
Something, something, something nonsense.
Poems and presents and food coma.
It’s so nice – Christmas at home – A!



Christina:
“Higher Purpose”
Angels in disguise
Roam at work,
Superstores, and in
The streets.
Angels have endless
Blessings to bestow on
     Each other
Through service, charity,
Hope, growth, laughter.
All the moments that lift
Us higher…transform
      Mere mortals to
      Angels in disguise.

Daniel:
Another year,
     Another feast,
A new cheese,
     A new beast.
Last year's new was "Mabey."
This year's new is "Charlie."
     Next year's new
          Will be who?


John:
Second Christmas is
Here, Mister Burton.
DONE.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Vacation Memories - In honor of Dad's birthday

From Sara:

Well, one thing about Payne family vacations: they were always in the car.  We'd play the license plate game and the alphabet game.  We'd poke each other.  Old pictures tell me that I rigged up a string to hold the bottle for one of the babies -- David?  James?  Dad drove like a champ, usually the whole way.  At some point Mom had made some pockets that hung on the back of the seat in front of you for books and entertainment stuff.  
I remember great times at Estes Park -- hikes in the mountains.  Other Haglund Family Reunions were always fun.  Swimming and suntanning on the docks in Wisconsin.  Silk screening t-shirts at the cabin.  Grandma and Grandpa's porch and side yard.  Cousins.
There were trips to Disneyworld and to the beach when we lived in New Orleans.   And day trips to Audabon Park, which were not really vacations, but kind of.  Then there were trips to Chicago and staying at Uncle Paul's apartment.  Uncle Paul's apartment: hot cereal for breakfast, a roommate named Tyler, a video rental store next door, the enormous red metal sculpture in an outdoor plaza (Calder?), reminding everyone to flush the toilet.  How did he ever put up with us? 
I remember when we got the van, and Dad made the padded, vinyl-covered platform for the back section, under which fit all the luggage, and on top of which we could lie down or play cards or whatever.   Very smooth.  And then when we got the little black VCR/TV combo, we could really travel in style.  That was revolutionary.  I felt like it was such a luxury.  
We went to Philmont one year, which was probably around 1988?  (I am guessing.)  That was a great trip, and I remember that Mom had packed our clothes by day in duffle bags.  There was a Monday bag for the whole family, and a Tuesday bag, etc.  Packing was a real procedure, I think.  I remember the talent shows at night at Philmont and "A-moo, a-moo, a-moo-moo-moo."  
There was one dreadful camping trip in Illinois, I think.  The mosquitos were so horrible, that my memory is that we ended up sleeping in the car.  Am I making this stuff up, or does anyone else remember it?
I remember our trip to the Southwest and Utah when I was about 15.  It was a long trip, and we went  to the Sand Dunes and the 4 Corners, and Mesa Verde National Monument.  I think Mom drove the van for some part of the trip, and it broke down outside of Provo (coming through the Alpine Loop? or down off of Timp?) and we ended up at her friend Carolee Hawkins house.  Like most of our trips to Utah, I suspect this trip also included the tour of the John and Sara Payne family sites (with the paper route/motor scooter bonus tour) in Provo.  (We do an expanded version of this tour with our kids when we go.)  We hiked to Timp Cave, and I think I started the full Timp hike, but for some reason, I did not finish it with the boys.  Hmmmm.  I wonder why?
One night when I think I was a junior in high school, you were all going to Disneyworld the next day.  Maybe it was Washington, DC. I actually can't remember where it was.  But  I had decided to stay home and do my school work and probably debate, but that night before you left, I changed my mind, and I came to your bedroom late in the night and asked if I could go with you all.  You said yes, and I did go, and I think I had to find some sort of way to send a term paper in for some class.  Did we find a fax machine?  Is that it?  Were fax machines invented yet?  I can't remember, but I do remember that I hand wrote that paper on a legal pad in the back of the van.
And in case that was the trip to DC, what I most remember about that (be prepared to be saddened by this) was a march for animal rights or something that we walked by on the mall.  Also, what I remember was all the Bart Simpson t-shirts for sale by vendors on the streets.  I think this was before we were able to watch the Simpsons.  I may be conflating some other trip with this one, but I think we may have gone to an art museum then, as well, which is when I saw a beautiful exhibit of Matisse cut outs, which I have loved ever since.
I remember when Mom and Dad took me to Chicago to take my endowments out at the temple before my mission. Not really a vacation, but  I  remember that we went to the art museum there, and I think they had a special Chagall exhibit., or maybe it was just the usual museum collection.    I also remember going to the temple dedication in Chicago when I was a youth, and I remember that Mom and I sat in the Celestial Room, which was  a special experience.
Most recently, we had a terrific time in the Colorado Rockies again, at Winter Park in 2009.  It was an awesome Haglund family reunion.  Adam wasn't there, so I was on my own with the kids, and all the boys and Mom and Dad helped out so much taking my kids to activities and helping me at meal time.  I thought that Jack (or was it Mark?) had fallen in the river at one point (I couldn't find him , but it turned out that he was hanging out with Dad in his room) and I had John, David, and Daniel all frantically looking for him all over the woods.  And Daniel -- driving to and from with us.  Amazing.  (He learned a few tricks, and on the way home, put the hammer down on water consumption and really reduced our bathroom stops.  Made the trip about 5 hours shorter.)  Hopefully, he still wants to have his own kids someday.  My kids are hoping we can go back to Colorado soon.  I am so glad we went.

From John: 

Happy birthday, Dad!  In honor of your day, Mom has asked us to write our memories of family vacations.  Here are mine.
When we were little, most of our family vacations were road trips.  We would pile into the van, with the specially modified seat covers (with pockets) and the TV and whatnot, and Dad would drive until we got there, no matter how far it was.  Dad required no rest, and no food-- just someone to scratch his head sometimes.  Usually that was Mom, but sometimes we kids got to help with that.  Sometimes we got to listen to music.  I think those long road trips were where I first fell in love with the Beatles.
On one family vacation, I think it was to the world's fair, I got lost.  I remember noticing that nobody was around, but I don't remember getting worried.  I think I was wading in the fountain, fishing for quarters when Dad found me.  On another family vacation, I lost Sam.  Mom asked if everyone was in the van and I said yes and we drove on for a couple of hours before a police car pulled Mom over and asked if she was missing a child.  As I recall, the people at McDonald's took such good care of Sam that I wished I had been the one who got left behind.
Some of our trips were long, like the ones to Disney World, where I remember playing on the beach in January.  Inside the park, I remember being disappointed that the monorail wasn't running, and pretending I wasn't scared of space mountain.  My favorite was probably the fort at Frontierland, where I could have played happily until I died.  And I loved the pavilion of nations at Epcot, even though there really wasn't much of a ride.  Maybe I was just a nerd.
Some trips were short, like the ones to Mud Island in Memphis, which remains one of the places I would most like to return to.  I was fascinated by the scale model of the Mississippi River running through the park, which we were allowed to wade and play in.   Awesome.  Also, there was some kind of giant spiderweb thing made of rope.  Or maybe that was somewhere else.  Honestly, a lot of these kind of blend together in my mind.
Trips to Utah were always special because we would get to see cousins, grandparents, BYU, temples, and the mountains.  I remember seeing a tear well up in Dad's eye as Timpanogos came into view.  When I was about 10 or so I remember an interminable argument about whether or not the mountain really was shaped that way because that's where Princess Timpanogos lay down to die.  I don't remember what side of the argument I was on.  When I was about 15, we all hiked up to Emerald Lake and then Dad and Sam and I went up to the top.  We probably shouldn't have, because we had almost no water.  I remember dragging myself slowly to the top and seeing some 8 year old kid from Colorado come bouncing along past me, completely used to the thin air.  He brought us back some water, though, so hooray for him.
That's one of the last family vacations I remember where all of us were there.  Once we got into the later parts of high school, we sometimes would stay home.  When I was 17, the rest of the family went to Western Canada to meet some of Dad's relatives, and I stayed to take some big test and to participate in some extracurricular thing.  At this point, I don't remember what was so important as to keep me home, aside from the fact that I didn't shave for a week and grew my first (horrible) goatee.  In hindsight, doesn't seem worth missing Mountain View.
When I went off to college, coming home at Christmas was my family vacation.  Then I left for the mission.  And then so did Sam and Sara and everyone else.  And then people started getting married.  I kept coming home for Christmas vacation, except for that one time the Paynes (including Roman) went to Provo instead and had that completely rad beard-growing contest that caused Dad to be embarrassed when he bumped into Ralph at the grocery store.  
I still loved coming spending my vacations with family.  And once Mom and Dad moved to Texas, these Christmas trips were a bit of an adventure, a journey to an exotic land of barbecue, big hair, and prisons.  But there were always people missing.
So I think the next time all of us got together for a family vacation might have been the Payne reunion in Las Vegas in 2008.  I burned a mix CD for the road and drove down with David and Lenny from Provo.  James and Regent took a separate trip, I think.  Mom rented a big condo for all the married folks and their families, and the single boys crashed in a nearby hotel.   Red rocks, hot dogs, and the Strip.  That was a good time.  More recently, we've mustered the whole clan for three wedding-themed Payne family vacations, the last of which was my very favorite gathering of all time.  
I don't know when we'll all be together again, but I do know that Dad and Mom knit together a family that loves one another (and serves one another).  We keep finding excuses to get together, whether all at once or in little groups, because we like each other.  And that love and friendship is part of the legacy of all those vacations.  Which makes all those hours in the van a small price to pay. 
Happy birthday, Dad!  We love you!


From Sam: 

Ah memories of vacations.  I have lots of great memories of vacations, although I can’t be certain that the events are properly correlated.  There were so many trips to Utah that I can’t keep them straight.  I don’t, for example, remember which of the many cabin trips was the one where John lost his black Swiss Army knife, and whether that was the same on where James fell off Roger’s horse, or if that coincided with my building the deck railing for the cabin.  I know that we went to the cabin often, which is something I still continue to do.  It is a place that I will always cherish.
There are lots of trips that happened when I was younger that I don’t really remember much from, aside from the fact that we went as a family and that I had fun. On one trip, presumably to the east coast, we stopped at Uncle Richard’s house in Nashville.  I remember that they had a big house, but no beds for the kids, and that their back yard was huge. I remember Mesa Verde and climbing up the antique ladders into their cliff city.  That would probably scare me now, but I was too young to care.  I remember the great Sand Dunes, and playing in a little river that we found.  I remember going to Washington DC and sneaking up into his hotel room.  He told us that we could not all go up at once or it would attract the attention of the valet.  That was the same trip where we went out in the city at night and Dad had John and I flank Sara to protect her at night.  Some people playing chess in the park at Dupont Circle obviously understood what was happening and decided to play a prank on us.  One came sneaking up from behind and tapped Sara on the shoulder.  She jumped and so did the rest of us.  I remember him laughing and saying “you must be more careful when you come to the city.”
The vehicle that I remember is the van.  I know that we went on vacations before the van, but that is the car that I remember.  It was well prepared as the vacation machine.  Mom had sewn seat covers with lots of pockets for books and games. We had a Coleman cooler that fit perfectly between the front seats and provided a nice stand for the TV/VCR that plugged into the cigarette lighter.  What an amazing invention.   Dad had created a platform in the back that sat on top of the wheel wells. Luggage went beneath and there was a nice place to sleep on top. We would pile that space up with blankets and sleeping bags for when someone got tired (of sitting next to their brother). I miss the days of not being required to wear a seatbelt.  Road trips take forever, but it goes a little bit faster if you can sleep off an hour or two.  Living in the Midwest, far from any family or attraction, I got used to driving for vacations.  I still love driving.
The longest vacation ever started when we moved to Emporia.  For one reason or another we could not find a home to purchase and ended up in student housing.  After an attempt to fit all of us in one apartment, we decided to take the rest of the summer off and go to Utah while Dad worked and tried to find a home.  It was during this vacation, I think, that I noticed that the van tape player didn’t work quite right.  The speed of the tape player matched the speed of the van.  The tapes played the right tempo when we were going 65, but climbing those Rockies sometimes the van could not quite maintain 65.  So when the speed dropped, the songs slowed down.  Regardless of the cassette player’s function, this is the trip where I started to like the Beatles.  There were two cassette tapes with the Beatles songs on them.  I think that Sara recorded them off the radio station while still in Springfield.  These songs played for a lot of the trip.  There are still some Beatles songs that make me think of the mountains.
It was also this vacation where the van quit out on one of the tight switchbacks somewhere in the Rockies and we needed to take off the front panel to get at the right piece of the engine.  We didn’t have any tools with us, but we found a screwdriver on the side of the road. Later on in the trip, we went to hike Timpanogos and the van died.  Mom and John walked a few miles to call for a tow while the rest of us waited by the roadside.  Then we all climbed into the tow truck cab and drove back into town.  It was at the end of this trip that I got left behind at a McDonalds in McPherson.  I came out of the bathroom to see the van pulling out of the parking lot.  I ran after it as it left and went out onto the highway.  On the freeway on-ramp, I realized that I could not catch up to it, and turned back.  A kind McDonald’s employee noticed what had happened and called the police to come help.  They offered me anything on the menu, but I was in such shock that I only asked for a drink of orange juice. When the police arrived they asked for a description of the car, which I was fortunately able to give.  They raced down the highway to get mom, but she had like a 20 minute head start.  In the mean time, they took me to the police station.  I hung out in some planning room that was decorated with confiscated weapons.  There were of throwing stars, batons, guns, and knives covering the walls. I had never seen real throwing stars before.  They offered me anything I wanted from their vending machines, but the shock will still overwhelming and I still had my orange juice from McDonalds, so I just sat in this room (alone).  It took probably an hour from them to catch up to mom, she was nearly to Emporia.  And then she had to drive all the way back.  So I was there in the police station for a long time. 
Other vacations that I remember include the Disney trip where we stayed in the park RV camp rounds.  It was a great vacation.  I remember getting to the park right at the opening and running to a ride, Thunder Mountain. The lines must have been really short that day, because I we rode it 3 or 4 times in a row, all within 10 minutes. They made us go out the exit and then race around through the turnstiles and get back into a car. There was almost no one else there.
I also remember smaller vacations to St. Louis or Memphis. I don’t know if those count as vacations, because we may not have spent the night, but they were still fun.  I loved visiting St. Louis because of the Arch, the zoo and the riverboat McDonalds. Once when I was in college we were there in St. Louis and I got to go to the Old Courthouse.  It is a beautiful old building in downtown right next to the arch. Adjacent to it is some weird neo-classical park/amphitheater that is meant to be like the Parthenon.
When John was going into the MTC, I remember that we were going to drive out and meet him. We got in the van and started the drive from Emporia to Provo, but somewhere at the western edge of Kansas Dad got really sick and we pulled into a small hospital where they said that he needed to get to a real hospital immediately.  I think that the options were Denver or Kansas City.  The trip was cancelled as they put dad in an ambulance and drove him back across Kansas.  Mom gave me the keys and said, “drive us home.”  I thought it was strange when I passed the ambulance an hour later on the interstate.  Why weren’t they going like 85?  I certainly was.
Speaking of driving too fast, I recall driving back from Provo to Texas in the M1 (old Buick).  Mom, John, D2 and I drove back in two days.  We started on a Saturday and drove to somewhere near the New Mexico/Texas border.  We had hoped to stay in a reasonable town that had a real hotel.  But when we got there, it was about 10pm and all the rooms were taken. Out in the vast nothingness that is the southwest, our only real option was to keep driving.  After about an hour we saw a small roadside motel.  We checked in and then went to our room.  That is when we noticed that there were bullet holes in the walls and what looked like blood to match.  I’m not sure that we slept much that night.  We got on the road pretty early.  After driving for a while it was about the time that church might start as we entered some town just across the Texas border.  It was approaching 9AM and we happened to find the church really easily.  I don’t remember how, because this was in the days before cell phone mapping and everything.  But we did find it and walked in right as Sacrament Meeting in the small branch was starting. It was a wonderful reminder of rural Texas.  The main speaker sat up front fiddling with a toothpick.  When it was his turn to talk, he simply tucked it behind his ear as one might do with a pencil.  After the meeting, we stayed for a moment to talk with the members.  When I asked how long it would take to get to Dallas, the response was, “It might take you 8 hours.  Then again it might take you 6.”  It took me no time to realize that people in west Texas like to speed.  I was the one who did most of the driving for the whole trip, and I started us out leaving church on the way home.  After driving for a while, a large caravan passed us.  I pulled out to pass a car and got in line at the end of the caravan.  I don’t remember how long I was following them, but it might have been an hour or two.  Time and miles were just flying by.  Then we saw police lights on the other side of the highway.  The caravan (which had been staying in the left lane the whole time) immediately slammed on their breaks and got over into the right lane.  I checked my speedometer as I breaked and noticed numbers coming down out of the 110’s.  The Buick’s engine was so big and smooth that I had no idea we were going that fast.  Anyways, the policeman pulled over the first car in the caravan, and then rest of us calmly went 75 for a while.
As an adult, I remember a special moment when we were in Utah, perhaps for my sister-in-law’s wedding, and Dad met us at the cabin.  Harrison was still very young.  What I remember best is just sitting at the edge of the river throwing in rocks, Harrison and me and dad.  Three generations of boys just throwing rocks, so simple and calming. 

From Dan: 

From James: 

From David: 



Friday, December 30, 2011

2011 Christmas Eve Poems

2011 Christmas Eve Poems
In order as they were read around the table

James:
When lights are low
But candles are high
And fathers are sentimental
I am still, pleased to be at home
Even when school is tempermental

Regent:
Christmas with Kids
Lights shine in the store
Trees glow more
Deer on the feet come to life
And teaching about Christ

Dad:
Mother’s fall
From the wall
At least the ledge
Left her in pain
With health to gain
And counting all our blessings.
From Mabeys to babies
Or families and more
It’s been quite a year
For those here
And joined by ties
Blessed by the Spirit.

John:
I’ve been in heaven
In 2011.
A year with JaNae
And every day
Makes me happy as Christmas times seven.

JaNae:
She demands, I yield
A queen with eyes of cherub
Polka dot whirlwind.
(To Naomi in her red with white polka dots sleeper.)

Serene gaze pierces
A goddess, unmoved, unfazed.
From my arms peace flows.
(To Lily, age 8 weeks)

Eugene, Yun Burm Nam, our high school exchange student from Korea:
Come all ye people.
Home is the most wonderful place.
Ring, ring, ring, reindeer are dancing.
I see the snow is falling gently.
Santa Claus is busy to pass the present.
There are 9 candles in one house
Moms and Dads are busy work to write a poem
A Lily remind me the baby Jesus.
S’mores are waiting for us next to the fireplace.


Mom:
My poem’s not stuffy
‘Cause I’m not that smart.
But ‘tis the season
So I’ll do my part.
With family surrounding
And presents abounding
I’m not sure just how
As we all bought a cow.

Since I broke my back
It feels like the rack.
Then there’s my neck-
I feel like a wreck.
Yet I am blessed
Because I’ve got the best
FAMILY!

Kyung Nam, Eugene’s father who was visiting:
(“This is my first poem in English.”)
When the Christmas comes
I expect many good things.
When I was very young
It would be a great present
Like toys in the stockings
On the wall
Or under the blinking Christmas tree

As I getting old,
I expect many blinking in our hearts
Which will make many people
Feel joy and gratitude to each other.

I want everybody feel comfortable
And may our hearts warm in this cold days.
Merry Christmas.


David II, emailed in from Michigan:
We made our own wassail, but it turned out too sweet.
Fancy cheese on a plate made an easy, fun treat.

We baked our first limpa, and it came out quite close,
Sausage, roast, and gravy, but no knäckebröt.

We had our first Christmas, the first home one at least-
Plastic tree and presents, and our own Swedish feast.

An Ann Arbor Christmas, just a dusting of snow,
Can’t wait til Santa comes. Only hours to go.


Kate, also emailed from the North:
Well, for the first time this Christmas Eve
I stuffed myself with sausage and roast
Much like a Svede.
We dusted off the fine China
The silver candles sticks and forks
With four tine-ahs.
Eating and admiring our tree,
And sipping from our teeny tea cups
A wassailing were we.
It is our first Christmas since we were wed
And each year we will celebrate like this
Until we are dead!!!!

Merry Christmas!!!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

On Dad and Education - on the occasion of his retirement

Dad and Education:
July 28, 2011
by Sara

Dad values education and has promoted it to me all my life. I suppose it started with reading. Dad loves to read, and when I was in 2nd grade or so, he read Nancy Drew books with me (simultaneously, not out loud to me). Maybe he just did it to have something in common with me. But I think he actually liked those books. I also remember him reading Tom Clancy and biographies of Church leaders. I'm neglecting lots of other things, but those are the genres of books
that I remember Dad reading. Myself, I read almost every Nancy Drew book ever printed by 3rd grade. I love reading, and it has blessed my life and now the lives of my children in many ways.

Dad worked to give an education to Daniel in particular. He taught him to read so that he could learn on his own, and then fought tooth and nail to make sure the school would give him a decent education as well. I will let Daniel say more about that.

Dad stayed up late with me working on homework. Mr. Lee (10th grade English) did not teach me how to write an essay. Mrs. Stephens (insert your own memory/comment here) did not teach me either. Dad taught me during late nights of typing and working. Much earlier, he taught us the bones in the body. When he talks to my children, he is always teaching them. I imagine it was the same with us. He tells them (and he told us) scripture stories in order to teach us. He explains little things about the way things work. Can you believe I actually told my kids how an engine works? (Admittedly, not the most detailed explanation.) I learned that from Dad.

The story of Dad's dad is the story of education lifting him to a better temporal existence. Dad had the conviction from that family/personal experience that education empowers people and is the
key to success in life. I have used the story of my Canadian shepherd-turned-professor Grandpa on my children, to inspire them, and to remind them that their ancestors did not make sacrifices to get an education so that they (my children) could be lazy students.

Whenever I hear some hard-luck story on the radio (NPR, no surprise there) about a laid-off factory worker with no career options, I think, "didn't his dad tell him that he needed to get an education to get a good job and provide for his family?" Doesn't everyone have a dad who tells him there is no future in menial labor? Doesn't everyone have a dad who explains that you have to get an education? I guess not. I'm glad I had a dad who did make that completely clear.

Dad always told me that I could be whatever I wanted, and study whatever I wanted if I would work hard. I cringe when I hear some friend or acquaintance (and it has happened more than once) tell me that he doesn't think his daughters need to go to college, or to a good college (but his sons do). I have a real problem with those guys. Dad always made me feel like I needed to get the most and best education I could, and that I was worth and worthy of the best schooling out there. By implication, he taught me that stay-at-home mothers need the best education that can be had. I never felt like I was in the "class of '92." I knew I would be going to college, so it was more like "class of '96" for me. (It actually turned out to be "class of '98" -- in December). He had high expectations for us in school. He taught me not to fear education and learning (evolution; dinosaurs), but to remember the counsels of God (2 Nephi 9:28-29). And that is the most important lesson of all of my education.

Thanks for the legacy, Dad.


Dad and Education:
First Responder Award goes to Regent
July 19, 2011

I know that education has been very important to you. While in Huntsville, this was most evident through our visits to SHSU's campus and our discussions about the improvements made at SHSU. You were helping to lay a strong foundation for the students there. I remember "new plans" for this or that on my first visit to SHSU. With each subsequent visit, there also seemed to be some old dormitory being torn down or a new academic building being constructed. I don't know how many new buildings or housing developments have been developed since my first visit, but I know it's A LOT. You've helped fill these buildings with better tenured faculty, a better freshman class, a better group of graduates. I think it's just great that you have been able to transfer your vision of education into a reality at the school. I know other people feel that way since they have a Hall named after you.

I know you (and with the help of Grettle) have cultivated a love of being self-educated in James. His interests are as varied and deep as yours. Wether it be in the gospel, gardening, poetry, literature, music, history, medicine, and you can't forget science-fiction, James is able to diligently set goals to learn for himself things that interest him. Thank you for helping him with his personal statement. I know that will help him continue his professional training. I know he's appreciated that advice at other times when it has been stressful in his graduate program.

As for your personal influence on me, I think I've had received many personal nuggets of wisdom here and there. I think most of all, I think I've just learned how to be more of a team player. Thank you!

Love,
Regent

Dad and Education:
July 27, 2011
by Samuel

Education is ingrained in my father. He is not just a formal educator, but teaching and helping others learn is part of who he is. One classic example of the informal promotion of education is his teaching the bones of the body to all his children at a very young age. Before we were in school, we could all name most of the 206 bones in the human body. Another example is how he would constantly point out the names of trees whenever we took walks, and tell us about how the bark or leaves were distinct. As a father, I find myself instinctively teaching stuff to my kids. This instinct comes, I believe, from being raised in a teaching home.

When I was in high school, many of my friends had jobs during the school year. I had a summer job, but during the school year, the emphasis from my dad was on school. He said, “you can work a job now to get money to pay for college. Or if you get good grades, someone else will pay you to go to college.” This was great advice, and turned out to be true. I was able get an academic scholarship for college which paid for half of my tuition costs. Keeping the same model during college, I studied hard during semesters and kept my scholarship, and worked during the summer to earn the rest of my tuition.

The financial assistance I got for college from my parents was very clear and known to me pretty early. They would pay for my rent to keep me at college. I was to pay for tuition to keep me in college. Looking back, this was a wise gift. It kept me focused and provided real feedback as to my standing.

As a child, I remember my dad watching medical drama TV shows and loving the medical part (and changing the channel during the drama part). He told me several times that he would have really enjoyed being a doctor. That influenced my choices during my last few years of college when I noticed that my degree (computer science) would not necessarily land me in an exciting job. Most of the jobs my friends were taking sounded boring. And so I searched for a fun application for my computer skills, and ended up with bioinformatics.

For these lessons and many more, THANKS DAD.

Dad and Education
July 26, 2011
by David

I am my father’s son. I am currently in a Ph.D. program, and to be honest, one of the reasons is because that’s what Dad did. It always just seemed like the right thing to do, and the best way to be more like the man I admire most.

Education has been important to Dad for as long as I can remember. When we were kids, the rule was always “no TV on school nights.” Even though the rule wasn’t always kept, and the exceptions are often what we remember, it was the vast majority of nights spent reading and doing homework that made us the intelligent, educated people we are today.

When I did well, Dad was excited and proud of me. When I did poorly, he was ready to help and teach. I remember spending many long nights at the kitchen table with Dad reviewing draft after draft of essays. For years I thought that the purpose of all that was to make those essays better, but I have come to see that the real purpose was to make all my future writing better. Dad taught me how to think and analyze my writing, which has benefitted me greatly and will continue to so for years to come.

There was never a question in our home whether or not we would go to college. We would. And we would do well. Because that’s just how it works. When I went to BYU I worked to make my Dad proud.

Not only has Dad dedicated his life to educating his own children, but he has dedicated his career to making education more available and more beneficial to thousands upon thousands of young people. Dad has fought to bring better advising, better facilities, and better instruction to students across the country. His influence has been felt not only at the institutions where he personally has worked, but to countless others as administrators from other universities have seen and followed his example.

The love and respect that his colleagues have shown to him throughout his career – and especially in recent months – demonstrate the effect he has had on them and on the system as a whole. These people recognize the debt that higher education owes to David Payne.

And I recognize the debt that my education owes him as well.

I love you, Dad.

Dad and Education:
July 30, 2011
by James

I remember dad writing a hand written letter to my 7th grade health teacher (I was getting a C on a progress report) apologizing for my poor performance and requesting the opportunity for me to work for a better grade. I was so embarrassed at the time, but he really showed how important it was to him that I did well in school.

I think of hours that he spent with me on weeknights helping me with algebra and geometry and me telling him with tears in my eyes that I could not do it. I then remember dad reading the section of the textbook I was in and helping me with each problem. I remember dad editing my papers and teaching me the process of editing and going through drafts and crossing out lines and thinking of better ways to say things.

All of these memories really show 2 elements of dad. The first is his expectation that we work hard and get good grades. The second is his willingness to nurture us and give us the skills to meet the first expectation. For that I will always be grateful.

Love,
James

Dad and Education:
July 30, 2011
by John

Here are some lessons Dad has taught me about education:

1. Home is at least as important to education as school is. After Dad's first teachers said he might never be able to read, Dad learned from his mother. And lots of what I learned about the world, and about the gospel, I learned at home from my parents (and siblings) instead of in a classroom with a teacher. I learned some things because Dad taught me on purpose-- scripture stories, the bones, Marxism, etc. And I learned a lot of other things that Dad taught just be being who he was-- kindness, diligence, sacrifice.

2. It's easier to learn when we're positively motivated. Dad's mother used the Hardy Boys to teach him, because he loved those books. I never would have made it through high school without debate. This was not just because nothing but the threat of staying home from tournaments could have persuaded me to do my consumer ed homework. I also learned a lot about government and history from debate. And I learned how to research, write, communicate, and bounce back from difficulties and setbacks.

3. Education is not just about mastering any one subject, but about preparing to be a husband, father, and disciple of Christ. Dad had a music scholarship at BYU, but he set it aside because he thought that he would not be able to live up to his more important responsibilities with the musician's lifestyle. I had the chance to pursue debate in college, but like Dad I knew that this would not help me to be the man I want to be.

4. Anything worth doing is worth doing well. Dad always expected me to get good grades. In part, I think this was instrumental. Having good grades, and good test scores, made my life easier (and my college education cheaper). But Dad also just wanted me to do thing right–whether writing a paper, building a deck, or earning a merit badge. Because doing something badly, or doing it wrong, is a special kind of pointless. Do it right, or don't do it at all.

5. Learn from everyone and everything. When Dad and I were home teachers together, I enjoyed showing off and giving elaborate (and lengthy) lessons. Dad did less talking and more listening. I have tried to follow his example by learning from the people I am supposed to be teaching. Dad also paid better attention to our popular entertainments, because everything we hear and see is part of our education. Dad hated Berenstein Bears and loved Karate Kid because he picked up on the lessons they were teaching us. I used to find that funny. Now I think about what books, movies, and music I will share with my children, and what I hope they will learn from it.

6. True education is uplifting. Dad and Mom both taught me a lot about music. But maybe the most important thing they taught me about it is that music is beautiful. When Dad was a missionary in London, he was in one of the world's great centers of culture and art, so he spent much of his free time going to see shows. All my life I heard him talk about the beautiful music he heard there, and this Christmas I got to sit down and listen to all of Robert and Elizabeth with him. It was glorious. I'm thankful that Dad taught me to educate myself by partaking of music and art that fans the divine spark inside me.

There's so much more I could talk about, and should talk about, but I need to get back to my dissertation writing. Hooray for education!

Love,
John

Dad and Education:
August 2, 2011
by Daniel

Apologies for my brevity and tardiness, but I do not have a wide range of specific experiences where I learned the value of education, rather, day to day life taught me the importance dad saw in it, with one exception.

When asked to speak to the prisoners on the their "graduation" from prison education (but remaining incarcerated) he was challenged to discover the value in their education. They were not able to leave and get jobs. They were not able to support their families. Many of them were in prison for life - they would never use their degrees. The importance of their education was personal improvement.

I suppose lessons from my father were based on "see what I do, not what I say." Chores were a part of our life, but the way out was homework. There were dishes to clean and weeds to pull. But so long as there was homework, an excuse was accepted.

"And if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through his diligence and obedience than another, he will have so much the advantage in the world to come." D/C 130:19

Love,
Daniel

Dr. David Payne and Education
August 3, 2011
by Frau Professor Doktor Payne

I remember watching David descend the stairs at Auntie Bis’s house the day of our first date. It was the first time I had seen him, as my brother Richard suggested he meet me. I thought he looked like a Walt Disney caricature of a young professor. All he needed was the robe and mortarboard. (As I checked with Webster to be sure I spelled that right, I found out that this term comes from the board on which masons carry mortar. Cool.)

So my life as Frau Professor Doktor Payne began. We’ve lived in university towns, ranging in size from 35,000 to 50,000. The universities were major life blood in those towns. Our life has always been punctuated by the first day of classes for a new school year, Christmas holidays, commencement, and summer school.

Everyone at our house over the age of 5 went to school, including Dad. And, when Dad’s health was uncertain, Mom went, too. Teaching and learning were our bread and butter. There was little money in the teaching profession, but we never thought about doing something else.

In the Payne family, education was expected without differentiating between the boys and the girls. In fact, the women on both sides of the families led the way, being degreed before their husbands, from Sara Harris Payne and Grettle Owen Shaw Haglund, back a generation to Eva Forsberg Haglund. We’re from a line of education mothers.

Without saying anything, the expectations in our home were clear - we were an A kind of family. We worked at education at home as much as any home school family. That education took the form of not only homework, but also museums, music lessons, concerts, maps, the alphabet game and travels both long and short distances to see and do things. In Minneapolis, where the kids were participating in a Suzuki fest at the University of Minnesota, we found a science museum with a wonderful museum store. There was a Vietnam vet in a wheelchair who ran a trading post for nature objects. Kids could bring in things like birds’ nests and trade them in for rocks or feathers or other trinkets. He would talk with the children to see what they knew about their prize. The value of the prize was not only dependent on the object itself but also upon how much the child knew about it. The more they knew, the greater the value for trade in his shop. Those kinds of places were perfect for the Paynes.

Summers were filled with reading programs at the library as well as learning and doing projects at home. One summer in Cape Girardeau, we organized a mother’s summer school. Several families participated with each mother hosting a week’s worth of activities on a rotating basis. At the Payne house, we printed fabrics and then made jams (nondescript boxer style shorts) from the fabric each child printed. They printed on the fabric with paints using carved potato stamps, toothbrushes, and even running shoes - anything to print patterns on the cloth.
But, this is supposed to be about Dad and education. Dad valued my doing things with the children instead of working outside the home. Though we could have easily needed another income, we always wanted to have the kind of home where mom was busy doing things with and for the children. What a gift to me and to the children.
As for Dad and education, he has been a national and international leader in higher education for decades. His influence has been felt from the Middle East to China, from Peru to Canada, from Mexican slums to the Black Sea. He has promoted high quality, ethical, moral, and meaningful education whose product is engaged citizens who reach out to serve and bless others formally and informally, as a job and as a volunteer.

There are thousands of lives on which he has put his mark. The accolades received in the past few months at Sam Houston State University have provided fitting closure to his career. Except for the Gospel of Jesus Christ and our family, nothing has been more significant than working to make the world of education a better, brighter, broader, and more meaningful experience for everyone involved at the eight universities at which he has worked. Mortarboards off to you, Herr Professor Doktor Payne. From Iowa to Iceland, from North Dakota to Texas, you HAVE made a difference for all of us.

Love, Grettle

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Happy Father's Day 2010: Media memories

From Sara:

Dad and the Media

Well, my immediate association with the word “media” and Dad is Dad’s collection of books on the mass media. I think I tried to do a report on his PhD topic (mass media) using his books when I was in 7th grade. Bit off a bit more than I could chew.

But way before that, Dad helped me really fall in love with books. Dad read Nancy Drew with me (we raced), and he got me addicted. His mother, I’m told, got him addicted with the Hardy Boys.

Dad also introduced me to reading newsmagazines, Time magazine in his office as I remember it. I suppose that is what helped me get started being interested in current events and politics.

I remember a few movies: Karate Kid and Star Wars and also Pirates of Penzance, which we saw on TV. I remember when we got a VCR player, and trying to tape shows while pausing during the commercials. Which brings me to Sledgehammer. “Trust me. I know what I’m doing.” “Sorry Francine, call me a feminist.” “The only concept I hate worse is gun control.” “That’s Mrrrr.” “She has been kidnapped, or is just very good at hiding.” “What you need is a chiropractic adjustment.” This is getting ridiculous, but those are classics lines. Classic TV.

And you can’t talk about Dad and TV without mentioning his ironing shirts while he watched. Or lying down getting his head scratched by Mom. Or eating on the couch.

Dad’s musical tastes are simple. He likes baroque trumpet music. And he conducts while he listens. He loves the hymns of the restoration, and I remember the playing the hymn “An Angel from on High” with him on the trumpet at a ward talent show in Missouri. Dad can also conduct a military band or ward choir or university symphony.

A final note on Dad and the media. His personal history volumes are a great treasure for us – I read enjoy reading them, and so do my children. I am glad to have the stories of his life and our life together preserved for us.

Happy Fathers Day!

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From John:

Happy Father's Day, Dad!  Mom suggested that we might all take a moment to write down some of our memories, on the theme of media.

One of my earliest memories is a hazy recollection of seeing The Empire Strikes Back in the theater and asking if Darth Vader was really Luke's father.  (Now I wonder if Luke's father was really Darth Vader...)  We watched that movie many more times, of course, and you used it to teach us important life lessons.  When I am struggling and down in the dumps now, I hear Yoda instructing Luke: "Luminous beings are we-- not this crude matter."  I have my own list of movies I will use to trick my kids into learning.

In music, you taught me to seek after beauty, as the 13th Article of Faith teaches us.  All my life, I heard stories of you as a missionary spending your diversion day doing two things: worshiping at the temple, and going to the theater to see Robert and Elizabeth.  And when I came back from my mission, you had practically worn out my Men's Chorus tapes by listening to them over and over.  You taught me by example to find music that uplifts and inspires and gladdens the heart.  This has helped me make better choices about the soundtrack I choose for my life.  (Also, there was that one time when Jacob Starr and Billy Renfro brought over the latest album by Poison to play "Every Rose Has Its Thorn."  As I recall, you endured it with patience and longsuffering.)

Most recently, I thought of us driving the Honda up from Texas this January.  Pretty much all the Rush Limbaugh I have heard in my life, I have shared with you on the road.  Although a lot of the time, we didn't listen for too long-- something El Rushbo said would get me started, and then we'd turn the volume down a bit and talk.  Which is just as well, since Rush is only the second-most astute commentator on American society who came out of Cape Girardeau.  (You are correct.  I am, of course, thinking of James.)

I have lots of reading memories, too.  Like the journal you left out for us to read, so we could learn about you.  And the novels we have enjoyed together over the years, from Tom Clancy to (now) Brandon Sanderson.  And of course there are the best books, the scriptures.  Which reminds me, it's time for me to go to church, so I'm going to wrap this up.

Thank you, Dad, for sharing so many happy moments with me.  I look forward to sharing many more with you in years to come.

Love,

JOHN

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From Sam:

Dad and the Media

Well, my immediate association with the word “media” and Dad is Dad’s collection of books on the mass media. I think I tried to do a report on his PhD topic (mass media) using his books when I was in 7th grade. Bit off a bit more than I could chew.

But way before that, Dad helped me really fall in love with books. Dad read Nancy Drew with me (we raced), and he got me addicted. His mother, I’m told, got him addicted with the Hardy Boys.

Dad also introduced me to reading newsmagazines, Time magazine in his office as I remember it. I suppose that is what helped me get started being interested in current events and politics.

I remember a few movies: Karate Kid and Star Wars and also Pirates of Penzance, which we saw on TV. I remember when we got a VCR player, and trying to tape shows while pausing during the commercials. Which brings me to Sledgehammer. “Trust me. I know what I’m doing.” “Sorry Francine, call me a feminist.” “The only concept I hate worse is gun control.” “That’s Mrrrr.” “She has been kidnapped, or is just very good at hiding.” “What you need is a chiropractic adjustment.” This is getting ridiculous, but those are classics lines. Classic TV.

And you can’t talk about Dad and TV without mentioning his ironing shirts while he watched. Or lying down getting his head scratched by Mom. Or eating on the couch.

Dad’s musical tastes are simple. He likes baroque trumpet music. And he conducts while he listens. He loves the hymns of the restoration, and I remember the playing the hymn “An Angel from on High” with him on the trumpet at a ward talent show in Missouri. Dad can also conduct a military band or ward choir or university symphony.

A final note on Dad and the media. His personal history volumes are a great treasure for us – I read enjoy reading them, and so do my children. I am glad to have the stories of his life and our life together preserved for us.

Happy Fathers Day!

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Sunday, March 21, 2010

Mom's birthday 2010, What We Have Learned from Mom

. . . MISSING LETTERS . . . 
_________________________________________________________


Mom,

Sara suggested that we all take this occasion to write down some of what we have learned from you.  What I have learned most from you is how to be a Christian.  

Lesson one: It's okay to not be perfect.  All children see their parents' flaws; in the long run, there's no way to keep imperfections hidden from family.  But you showed us that you were not afraid or ashamed to have flaws.  You told us about your problems, past and present, like when you flunked out of college.  I don't know if it was hard for you to share these things with us, but I do know that it made it a lot easier to come to you when I had problems of my own.  I knew that you would understand my failings and still love me.  

Lesson two: It's also okay to expect a lot from each other and from ourselves.  Loving people who have problems doesn't mean that we love those problems.  In fact, if we really believe those are problems, then we hate those problems because they are making the people we love unhappy.  When you ran for the school board, some people made fun of your campaign buttons, which I pinned to my backpack.  Some of the college debaters-- the coolest kids I knew-- asked for buttons to wear ironically.  But I was proud of you, for expecting more out of our school and for working to make those expectations a reality.  Awesome!

Lesson three: We can all be better today than we were yesterday.  And being better helps us feel better.  I shouldn't mention this, because you don't like it when we bring this up, but... you used to swear.  And you don't any more!  You showed us that it's possible to kick bad habits.  You also showed us how to build good habits by getting up every morning to go to Seminary, even though you hate mornings.  Watching you, I could see that it was very possible for me to be a little more perfect than I used to be.  We can break out of our prisons.

Lesson four: Love means sacrifice.  Having more kids meant having fewer things, but I never you speak of our family as a hardship.  And sometimes we were-- me, in particular.  I don't know how you made it through my years of piano lessons.  I am sure you would have been happier spending your time some other way than sitting down on the bench with me to make sure I practiced.  But you did it because you loved me.  (I wish I had been able to see it as clearly then as I see it now.)  You and Dad sacrificed for each other, too.  Your life was (and is) filled with compromise.  Mine is arranged largely for my convenience, and even so I sometimes wish I could drop out of the human race entirely and become a solitary monk.  But you showed me that godly perfection is not achieved through isolation.  Instead, we are closest to divinity as we live together in love.  That's the model that Christ gave us.  (Love one another, serve one another-- right, Dad?)  

So thanks for all you've taught me, Mom.  And happy birthday!

I love you,

JOHN

Monday, June 22, 2009

Fathers Day memories 2009

Work, by Sara
June 21, 2009

No other way to say it: Dad taught me how to work. He taught me to get in and get the job done without wasting time or stalling. He taught me to keep working until the job was done, and to rise early to get a good start so you could get done early in the day. He taught me to do it right the first time and not to do it half way. He taught me to enjoy the weary feeling after hard work (particularly physical work).

Not all associations with work are positive. Cleaning the basement toy room in Missouri, for example -- torture! Of course now I have a better perspective on the exercise, but at the time it seemed to take all day long and be just a huge, horrible job.

As a parent now, I also understand a lot more of his patterns regarding work around the house. I find myself repeating the same "it would only take a few seconds more to put this away in the right place/in the trash" that Dad used to always say. I feel Dad's irritation about cooking in a kitchen that is already dirty. I find it so hard to focus on doing something new while there is a mess to clean up.

Of course, I remember Dad working in the yard and garden -- in our garden (for some reason it was a few blocks away) in Missouri roto-tilling and weeding with a family friend, Hank. Who was that guy? I also remember many days building on the deck in the back yard. In Emporia he taught us as he (and we) roofed and then painted the house (that scaffolding!). I have a memories of Dad planting fruit trees or evergreen-type trees to screen the back yard from the freeway and riding the tractor in his work clothes. We'd see Dad coming in from the garden straight from work, still in his suit pants, with the fruit of his labors -- tomatoes or corn. I have discovered that I, too, get a lot of satisfaction from working in the yard, spending a cool morning working up a sweat and cleaning out a great big pile of trimmings and weeds.

I remember Dad ironing shirts while watching Star Trek or a similar show.

I remember visiting Dad at his office in Missouri when we were young, and in Emporia when I was older. In Missouri, we would roll down the big hill in front of the administration building. We'd raid his food stash and eat orange slices (the candy) and saltines and cheese (bitten off the hunk). Once I played office while Dad was at work -- I don't know where Betteye was. But I was typing and playing in her office, making forms for myself to fill out. I also remember the funny t-shirts that Dad used to make for his people. "Big Max" and "Amazing Grace" and others at his work. I remember that Dad frequently came home from work (in Emporia at least) for lunch and being home for dinner after work, shortly after 5. Then the work at home started! I remember the sight of Dad at the kitchen sink washing dishes madly (not angrily; just fast and furious) every night. He does not waste time getting that job done -- just gets in and gets it done. I don't know how he didn't get his shirt wet in the middle, as I do every time I wash dishes.
I also remember Dad working with us and for us. Dad got up early in the morning to drive me to seminary in Springfield, and would wait outside, as I recall, until class was over. Later in high school Dad stayed up late to help me work on a paper for school. He helped me organize the ideas and craft the language. He put in the work to teach me how to be a good writer. When he came to visit me in Mesa after Jack was born, he spent one day painting my bathroom. Classic Dad.

Then there was also church work and church travel. Dad was gone a lot, and sometimes he would take us with him on an assignment. I think about Dad going to Sikeston to build Fitzpatrick's house after the fire or to do home teaching or to have meetings. There were far-away speaking assignments in the new district and then the new stake. I also note Dad's example of working in the Kingdom no matter what the call, as he has served devotedly at both high and low levels in the Church.

In my scriptures I have printed (oops, looks like that page has been torn out by of the kids!) "the love of work is success," a quote from David O. McKay, I think. Dad said once that maybe all the kingdoms of glory were the same -- lots of work and service, and either we had learned to love it in this life, and it was the Celestial Kingdom, or we had not learned to love it, and it would be something less. Well, if that is the case, Dad is going to the Celestial Kingdom for sure. Thanks for teaching me how to appreciate and love work as well.

Happy Fathers Day!

Love,
Sara
-------------------
June 19, 2009
Memories about Dad and work
for Fathers Day

It’s no secret that Dad has handed down a legacy of work. I didn’t always want to accept that legacy. Sometimes, I preferred to go find a good book somewhere quiet until the dishes were all done. But there’s no denying that Dad has tried (and for some of us, still tries) to instill in us all a love of work.

Dad taught primarily by example. My earliest memories of Dad are of him tilling our garden in North Dakota, while I picked peas out of the pod and ate them. Everywhere we went, there was always a garden. And where there was a garden, there was work to be done. I’m not going to pretend I loved all that weeding, but without it we wouldn’t have had all the delicious corn, tomatoes, cucumbers, and berries. So, thank you, Dad.

Dad almost always had us work alongside him. I don’t know if it helped him any– my guess is that sometimes we created more work than we finished off– but I know that it helped us. I remember being involved in the building of the deck, and feeling very much part of the process. I was really proud of that deck. (In fact, I wonder now what happened to it. Maybe someone in Cape Girardeau could wander over and take a picture for us.) Doing big jobs like this gave me confidence to do things like my Eagle Scout project.

Dad likes to say: “It’s not enough to do your best, you have to do it right.” As a boy, the expectations implicit in this saying sounded somewhere between unfair and impossible. But I think now that the true purpose of this saying was to help me realize that what I wanted to call my best, wasn’t. It was just the best I could do without putting out a lot of effort. And doing the job right usually doesn’t require doing better than my best, it just requires more labor than I’d like. But a job done right has many times proved a sweeter payoff than free time and a job done poorly.

Thank you for helping me to be a better man, Dad. I love you!

Happy Father’s Day,
John
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Work

One of the lessons I remember most clearly from my childhood was about work. I was sitting on the floor half-heartedly scrubbing the tile, when Dad told me that you could always tell a working man from a lazy man by his pants. A working man's pants have holes in the knees, and a lazy man's pants have holes in the behind. Even though these days my job involves a lot of sitting on my behind, I still think about this lesson often. People don't need to see the end product of your work to know if you are a good worker- it is generally very easy to see from you yourself.

I'm glad that Dad taught us to work. I remember that one of my chores in Emporia was to gather rocks from the yard to put under the tree house. It took me several years to realize that Dad could have bought gravel for that spot, but he wanted to teach us how to work. I would often grab a big rock to put on top of the bucket, hoping that he wouldn't notice that I hadn't really filled it, but he always did. And he always explained to me why that wasn't good enough. Dad taught me that looking like you are doing the job and actually doing it are two very different things.

Dad also taught me that working hard and getting the job done are not always the same thing. Mowing the yard of the Overbrook house was (let's be honest) a miserable chore. I would work up a sweat and get exhausted pushing the mower up that hill, and then Dad would come out and show me where I had missed spots. I would get so frustrated because I had worked so hard I thought he should just accept what I had done, but he wouldn't settle for less than my best work. He taught me that it is always less work to do the job right the first time, rather than have to come back and redo it.

On my mission I came to love a hymn that doesn't exist in the English hymnal: "Placentero nos es trabajar" or "It is a pleasure to work." This hymn talks about the joy that can come from working in the Lord's vinyard. I think that Dad embodies the idea of drawing joy from work better than anyone I know. Work really seems to bring him pleasure. To relax after a long day of work, he goes to work in the yard. He is eager to retire from his job, not to play golf and see the world, but to work in the church. I admire Dad's ability to enjoy working.

Somewhat related to work is the place where Dad works. I've always liked Dad's office. The three I remember (Emporia, Huntsville, and temporary Huntsville) were always really neat- there were cool things to look at and play with. I think it is a testament to Dad's character that his office and home are always filled with these neat things that people from all over the world have given him to say thank you and to show their affection.

I also admire Dad's ability to keep work from interfering with his family. He is a very busy man with a lot of work to do, but he was never one of the dads who left his family uncared for. Even after long days at work, Dad always made time to be with us, help us with homework, talk to us, etc. I think there are not many men in the world who work as hard as Dad who take the time to be with their families as much as he does.

I love you, Dad. Happy Father's Day,

David
----------------------
Work

My first memories of work are actually stories that dad would tell as motivational examples of his own life. There are two great one-liners that have stuck with me from all of these stories. The first one, “It’s not enough to do your best, you have to do it right,” was already shared by John. The second quip, “work till you’re done, not just till you’re tired” comes from at least two stories that I remember. The first is of dad as a little boy working with his father, perhaps roofing. When he got tired, he went inside for the night, but grandpa stayed out much longer, working until it was finished. The second story is Dad’s famous mission story about tracting until 5pm and not 4:45.

In my own life, my memories of work start with the deck we built on our house in Missouri. I remember enjoying helping out as we nailed down the boards. As I was the most consistent helper, I remember being rewarded with a trip to the movies with Dad. We went to go see Return to Oz. This bit of construction labor was common to my youth, and something I deeply cherish. I remember Dad helping out on the construction of a family’s home in Sikeston – although I don’t think I helped any. I remember re-roofing a garage for one of our home teaching families in Emporia, in addition to roofing and painting our own home in Emporia. Gardening was certainly a big part of our summers. I find it so relaxing and enjoyable, I hardly consider it work any more. My many hours of weeding the dandelions in Emporia were just time for me to decompress and enjoy the fresh air. In fact when I first met the Madsens in Virginia, I volunteered to do a bit of construction/yard help with their home as a way to ‘feel more at home’ through the summer.

Perhaps the most important thing that I got from Dad was the attitude of loving work. It seemed to me that Dad always enjoyed doing what needed to be done. He did not begrudge a load of dishes, a yard full of weeds, or speaking in church. Having a productive and successful life requires a lot of effort, and accepting that reality is an important part of becoming an adult. I remember the total shock of learning that Dad did not enjoy camping (only revealed after David had earned his eagle scout). He had fooled five boys for well over 10 years. Dad knew that in order to get things accomplished you cannot sour the experience.

Life has come full circle as I teach my own children how to work. I have benefited greatly from good examples of my parents, knowing that work is rewarding. I remember when Harrison was still very young in San Diego, I wanted to find appropriate jobs for him. I wanted work to be a part of his life from the very beginning. As he could not yet walk, it implied my constant help. But we loved to take out the trash together.

Thanks Dad for a legacy that will last longer than you know,
Samuel
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David’s Work Rules

Work even when receiving therapy for CA
One “work free” day (Sunday)
Right after the meal is done
Keep it contagious

Love,
Regent

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Memories of Work
Father’s Day, 2009

1. Business trips: I never got to go on a business trip but I remember the souvenirs. Dad would always come back with loads of goodies and stories to entertain us. I have been on many trips but never manage to find anything but junk. It shows me just how much more time and money dad put into it that I never realized.

2. Letters of work: Much of what I know about Dad’s profession comes from his letters and one reoccurring theme is helping trouble causers. (Not helping them cause trouble, but helping them move on and repair their professional lives.) It impresses me that dad is not vindictive, but always looking to help even the difficult people.

3. Banquets: Many of my happy childhood memories of Dad’s job involve dressing up and going to parties, hopefully the kind where a line of caterers offered a selection of fancy cheeses . Nothing makes a 12 year old feel like a sophisticated member of high society like an assortment of cheeses and a glass of punch. Along with banquets I should probably include all the social functions we participated in as a family.

Love,
James

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On WORK

To check my stamina, a few weeks before we got engaged, David took me to perform an ordeal, just to make sure I could stand up to a challenge. We went hiking in Provo Canyon in waist high snow. I jumped around in the deep snow cheerfully for an hour or two. I must have passed the test because here we are, 36 years later. However, I must confess that I am not jumping so high these days.

Six weeks after getting married, when I realized that without a doubt, Work was David’s middle name. We bought a little 2 bedroom house, 813 3rd Avenue, Iowa City, Iowa. We decided to paint the living room. After painting for what seemed like days (probably at least several hours), I begged him to stop and finish it in the morning. He told me that I could stop whenever I wanted, but he had to finish before he could quit. ARGH. Of course that left me no choice.

We, and by we I mostly mean David, painted every house we ever lived in until we moved to Texas. David, James, and I painted the main floor of our Elkins Lake house. Fortunately, the new house was done by professional painters. Sara’s bathroom may be the last painting he’ll do.

David has worked tirelessly in our yards, planting gardens and orchards in six states for the eight houses we’ve lived in. In the early days of our marriage, I thought we gardened because we were poor. We were, in fact, poor. One of the things I looked forward to when we moved to New Orleans was buying produce like normal people instead of producing it. Not many trips to the grocery store taught me that we garden because the food is so delicious.

Our biggest garden was in North Dakota. It was 40 feet by 100 feet. We planted everything under the sun. In addition to the vegetable garden, we had an orchard of any fruit bearing tree that would produce in that climate. The very best fruit was our long row of raspberries. We were really into canning and freezing our produce. We canned beans, tomatoes, applesauce and crab apples the size of golf balls in a cinnamon syrup.

David drove from North Dakota to North Carolina one summer for a special seminar. On his way home, he came across bushels of peaches. He packed his little beige Corolla full to the ceiling with peaches which we canned when he got home. The car smelled like peaches for weeks! Somehow we got our hands on pears to can, too. We also bottled raspberry juice and rhubarb. That was perhaps the inspiration for our North Dakota favorite drink - rhubarb raspberry peach pear punch. best with a little 7-up for fizz. We froze delicious corn off the cob and peas. With all that food in the basement, we rarely bought fruit or vegetables at the store.

In Missouri, we were in good peach country. One summer, the day before leaving on vacation, David drove home with another Corolla-ful of peaches that were dying to be canned yesterday! So, into the night we blanched, peeled, and bottled peaches. They were wonderful that winter. During those years, in addition to lots of small children, I was often, meaning frequently, pregnant or nursing. David would send me to bed sometime around midnight and he would stay up into the wee hours finishing up batch after batch of whatever we were canning. What a guy!

Even more energizing for David than yard or garden work is church work. In Iowa, he was a Seventy, with assignments to nurture inactive and part-member families. He seemed tireless in his efforts with his stewardship. It was here that we started baking a cake on Sunday afternoon and surprising those poor, unsuspecting families by arriving on their doorsteps with cake and ice cream. They always let us in. After Sara came along, she got to come along. For the first 2 years of her life she wore clothes given to us by one of those families who came to enjoy our visits. Four years and three more children later, we realized that we were not as welcome as we had been with one little baby. So, the Sunday afternoon cake and ice cream visits came to an end.

No discussion of church work could be complete without mentioning our 2 years in Sikeston. Dad would go down once or twice during the week to tend to families there. He visited every family on the books, either reactivating inactive people and baptizing their family members or excommunicating those who were not interested in returning to church. The ward membership stayed at 112, but Sunday meeting attendance went from 20 to more than 110 in 2 years.

After a year or so, he returned to visit some of those who remained inactive to ask them to please come for 3 months so we could get the numbers needed to build our own building. Some of them came just long enough to help boost the numbers.

I was a single mom for lots of years. Shortly after we arrived in North Dakota, Dad was called into a branch presidency which soon became a bishopric. Next, he was the bishop. One Christmas Eve he got a call at 5 pm to help a lady whose heating oil ran dry. There was never any hesitation when those calls came. Dad was always ready to run and help. I never saw anyone wake up and dash off like Dad did when a call came in the middle of the night from someone needing a blessing.

One of Dad’s real motivators for work was worrying about feeding his family. Later, the concern was college costs. By the time David II was born, Dad started making spreadsheets of college and mission costs by year: 1992-Sara, 1993- Sara and John, 1994-Sara and John, 1995-Sara, John, and Sam, etc. I saw the spreadsheet many times, as if something about it was new. The spreadsheet was new, but the information was the same. No way around the fact that there would be a total of 42 years of support if the boys served missions and the average college undergraduate time was 5 years. Well, Sara went on a mission, too, and there were mostly 5 undergraduate years…Dad just kept working hard to stay on top of it all.

Probably the truest test of Dad’s ability to work hard, no matter what the odds, has come in the last six months. Going to work every day except for a few while undergoing serious chemotherapy has been a remarkable show of strength, perseverance, and stamina. There are few who could do what he’s done.

In 1994, with his first round of cancer, we hoped that he would somehow live long enough to get Daniel into college. David was 9 years old. James was in 7th grade. We are so grateful for the blessing of these past 15 years. We look forward to another 15 or 25 or more. The thing I want to remind him of is that there is much church work left to finish. We have a couple of mission to go on, so don’t quit now. The job isn’t done. I can’t imagine that you could rest peacefully on a cloud somewhere knowing that you left some of your work unfinished. You have a reputation to protect. See you at the MTC in a couple of years.

So, carry on. I’m right behind you, running as fast as I can to keep up.

Love,
Grettle/Mom